I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember standing there with that panic feeling and having tiny beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. I also remember being by myself with tears stinging in my eyes as I watch the other girls walk by me as if I were invisible. No one would dare be seen with me for fear of what other girls would think or say or even do. I was scared to death about going anywhere including school, I had no friends, and no one with any common sense would ever try to change that. All it took was for the other girls to witness one girl saying something harsh to me and then I was quickly labeled “Unworthy.” Not one girl would stand up for me or extend kindness even when they saw my obvious pain. Simply thinking about it, even today, still puts me in tears.
At least now I can look at it as a valuable life lesson. It taught me that words can hurt, and that it really doesn’t matter what others think about you or say about you. If someone tells you that you aren’t pretty or handsome or smart enough it doesn’t matter. All that matters is what you think of yourself and you ARE good enough!
Now I am better at dealing with these situations, sometimes I can even stop them in their tracks. I have a few tricks I use such as:
I just think of my protective bubble that surrounds me and I think of things that I love or good things about me that fill the bubble up. All of the bad thoughts just bounce off. They can’t hurt me if I don’t let them touch me.
Also, when I know that the people around me (like at school) are not sincere friends, I sort of bounce from person to person. I don’t get too close to anyone because who knows how quickly they’ll turn. I’m comfortable enough around them, but I know I am not tied to them and I can move on if I don’t feel like it’s a healthy situation for me.
I also find different people through different places. I join clubs outside of school to meet new people with whom I share a common interest. School is definitely not the only place to make friends.
I talk to people and tell them about my experience with bullies to spread awareness and it helps to get it off of my chest. It always helps. Not everyone understands, but these days, most do.
Anonymous, 12 year old girl
A note from Lisa: to understand more about bullying and to access some helpful links, click here: help with bullying Peace!
5 comments:
You are brave and worthy of respect. Keep moving forward!
My heart goes out to this young lady and her bravery is both beautiful and refreshing. Although it is through discomfort and emotional pain, what she has been through and the way she perceives it will contribute to her being an amazing woman, since she is already an amazing young lady.
I can remember a day, 40+ years ago, when I was shunned by 6th grade girls, and it is still painful. I vowed never to hurt someone like that. I do make mistakes, of course, but I don't intentionally try to hurt someone. I liked how you found valuable lessons from your rotten experience, too. That is redeeming and transforming, like turning metal into gold. You will reap benefits from that. Best wishes.
I don't know if you will be reading this post or not, but I hope this will find you -- I think you story is incredible. You are already putting some distance between what happened to you in your past and you now. It is really tough to be a young person. Kids can be mean but most of the time I think thet are really scared. I like what you said about the potential for things that people say (including us) to hurt. The important thing to do is to not believe the bad things that others may say. It isn't true!
I want to print your drawing and put it on my refrigerator. Is that okay? Your bubble reminds me of Harry Potter's patronus. I want to use your image to help me fight off the negativity in my life.
Hang in there! You have a friend here.
I think you are awesome for moving forward. I'm sure there are days where you still feel that pain, but based on the strength you seem to possess I have no doubt that you will succeed beyond your dreams. I know it stinks when people don't understand, but I do and my prayers are with you.
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